


The Fault In Our Fuck You's

by RedNorski



Category: Homestuck
Genre: EriSol - Freeform, M/M, On Hiatus, coffee shop AU, ill add tags as they become relevant, im tagging this like its tumblr fight me, mmm whatchya say, um this is gonna sadstuck later so warn?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2015-04-02
Packaged: 2018-03-20 21:52:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3666567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedNorski/pseuds/RedNorski
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A classic coffee shop AU, in which a college student works a part time job at a cute little coffee place, and sarcastically flirts with his customers. He ends up getting one's number, they go out, fuck at some point, fall in love the end. Happy ending, and everything is perfect. Except it's not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Fault In Our Fuck You's

Snow. Eridan Ampora hated it with a passion that burned hot enough to melt it. What a shame the heat was metaphorical.  Every god damned winter morning it snowed, and every time he had to shovel it. Every. God. Damned. Time. His roommate, Feferi, promised him they would take turns, and with the sweetest smile in the world she wasn't someone to distrust. But here he was, shovelling out their driveway, just as he'd been doing every morning all week. Maybe they were taking turns by the week, he told himself. He'd have Feferi do it next week and he wouldn't have to deal with it anymore, and everything would be fine.

Ha. Lies. Nothing was ever fine, not for him, not for anything around him. He grumbled, brushing curly ginger stray hairs out of his eyes with one hand while the other struggled to shovel on its own. God this was a pain. And what did he have to do after this? Not much, come to think of it. Maybe later this afternoon he and Fef would go out to eat or something. But for now, he had to finish up this hell. Except not hell, because cold.

Maybe he could get away with just shovelling a clear path through the driveway then kicking some snow around and stepping on it to flatten it down. Though that'd be less labor, it'd probably take a bit longer. He weighed his options. A few more minutes of hard work, or about twenty minutes of boredly kicking this shit around. Lets go with the latter.

~~

And done. Fifteen minutes of internal complaints and dread are finally over, thank the sweet lord. For someone who isn't even religious, he sure thanked god for a lot of things. But thats a debate for another time, because now is the perfect time to stop by the cute little coffee shop down the street; it's Feferi's favorite.

He turned the doorknob to go inside, finding it locked, then jammed the keys in and twisted, opening it. He stepped in to find Feferi sprawled on the couch in a sports bra and baggy pajama pants, watching television with some snacks in hand. Looks like an average Saturday afternoon indeed. This wasn't the first time he'd came home to find her half dressed, in fact, it was almost routine at this point.

"So I finished the shovellin' an such an' I've been thinkin', we should really go out an' do somethin' today. It's hella cold out, an' I think that coffee place you like is havin' a discount sale for anyone who dares go out in this nightmarish weather."

He spoke with a slight English accent, not due to actually being from England in the slightest, in fact he'd never set foot there, but since he had grown up watching Harry Potter and BBC, it eventually developed into his own speech.

"Yeah, lemme just put a shirt and coat on and I'll be good to go," Feferi replied as she stood u and stretched her arms. She put on the hoodie that was lain over the arm of the couch, then as she hopped up over to the coat rack and slipped a heavier coat on over that. "Do you think I'm bundled up enough?"

Her voice was light and bubbly, filled with excitement at what seemed to be any given time. It matched the rest of her, with her coiling textured hair that bounced with her as she walked to her always smiling expression.

She slipped on her favorite boots, then they were out the door soon after. "You drivin'?" Eridan asked as he stepped up to the car. "Nah," Feferi replied plainly. Eridan unlocked the car door then plopped himself in the drivers seat. "Fuckin' roommate makin' me do everythin'" he muttered under his breath. He started the car, sighing deeply, chuckling as Feferi commented "I heard that!" then backed up out of the driveway.

~~

The shop wasn't far, so it was only maybe five minutes before they arrived there. After they were parked they got out, and they could smell the caffeine from outside. A bell above the door jingled as it was opened, and someone waved from behind the counter. Feferi took off her coat and tied it around her waist, while Eridan swung his over his shoulder. The shop was well heated, in fact a bit too hot.

Feferi stepped up to the counter and leaned on it, elbows on the countertop. "Hey, cute patoot, Could I have a large vanilla spice latte with two sugars?"

A girl behind the counter, the 'cute patoot', smiled widely. "Sure thing. $4.95."

Eridan took out his wallet, taking out a ten and setting handing it to her. "An' I'll have the same,

keep the change."

"Dude, keep your th'itty change, no one el'th want'th it." said a sarcastic voice from behind the girl who took their payment. He leaned over on the counter and smirked at Eridan, his crooked teeth poking his lip. "Th'up?"

"Don't you fuckin' 'th'up' me you lispin' slob, let me do you a favor an' give you the few cents you probably need to get by."

"Wow, okay yeah, make fun of the college th'tudent living off minimum wage, what a dick move."

"At least I'm not tryin' to communicate with some fucked over speech impediment,"

Feferi grinned, leaning an arm on Eridan's shoulder. "You two need to learn each other's names before you go a'flirting, at the very least." the other girl, Aradia was her name, chuckled. "Hey, your drinks are ready."

She handed Feferi one, and then glared at another girl behind the counter behind the counter, who grinned. "What, does the douchey ginger here want his coffee?"

Aradia frowned. "Sollux, could you please talk some sense into miss bitchy over here? I'm not in the mood."

‘Miss bitchy,’ whose name was in actuality Vriska, sneered at the other female. “Why don’t I just give it to him myself?” she asked, then turned her back, throwing the coffee cup over her shoulder. The coffee spilled as it hit the floor, splattering the tile and the toes of Eridan’s shoes.

“What the actual fuck?” Aradia questioned angrily, “You can’t just go throwing things at customers! I swear, one of these days you’re going to get yourself fired if you keep this up!”

“She does this often?” Feferi asked, a frown pulling at her expression in clear concern. Aradia crossed her arms, huffing deeply as she looked to the ceiling. “‘Fraid so, the only reason she hasn’t been sacked yet is because people ‘round here seem to only like the coffee when she’s the one that makes it. Our customers are so picky, they only take a bagel with their drink if I’m the one that offers, and they refuse to pay if it’s Sollux at the register. I think they think he’s some kind of criminal or something.”

“I would too,” Eridan muttered under his breath, earning Sollux’s attention and a glare. “What wa’th that now?” He asked, raising his brows.

“You put your scraggly ass brows back down right now”

“Or what? You gonna put ‘em down for me? Th’tart a fight or th’ome th’it? I’d like to th’ee you try.”

“Fine then, make me.” Eridan squinted at the other, smirking slightly.

“Damn, th’omeone’th a flirt, why don’t you take me out to dinner fir’th’t?”

They both snickered, then Eridan sighed softly. “I think it’s you who’s bein’ a flirt here, but hey, if that’s what you want, mind if I have your number?”

Feferi broke in with a loud giggle. “Heheh, I totally knew you two were going to hook up, but before you get into that, do you wanna go ahead and get yourself another coffee?”

“Oh yeah, I almost forgot,” sighed Aradia, “Here’s another drink for all your trouble, free of charge. Sorry about Vriska,” she said, handing him the drink.

Drink in hand, and Feferi at the door ready to leave, Eridan prepared himself to follow after her. But as he stepped away from the counter, he felt a hand grasp his wrist, and looked back to find Sollux digging through a drawer with one hand, Eridan’s wrist in the other. He pulled out a pen, scribbled something down on the other’s arm, then let him go.

“That’th my number, call me tonight if you want.”

“I’ll consider it,” he replied, and was out the door.

~~

The drive home was just as the drive there, except a bit less bothersome due to the snow that had been on the road melting a bit. Eridan, after getting out of the car, walked up to the front door and unlocked it, entering with Feferi following close behind him.

They both kicked off their shoes and flopped down on the couch in almost unison, as if it were practiced routine. It was, in a way; they did the exact same thing every time they arrived home from anywhere.

Eridan grabbed a remote from the arm of the couch and turned the TV on, flipping through the channels. “Hey, Eridan, are you planning to call that nerd from the shop?”

“Maybe later tonight, but right now I kinda just want to relax..”

So he and Feferi found something of interest on Animal Planet, about some cat from hell who attempted to bite off it’s owners leg, and watched that in silence. Yet it didn’t seem to interest Eridan all too much; he fell asleep midway through the show.

**Author's Note:**

> ive been having ideas for this nerd for a few months so here, just take it.


End file.
